Parshas Naso 5785
- Torah Tavlin
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
ולקח הכהן מים קדשים בכלי חרש ומן העפר אשר יהיה בקרקע המשכן יקח הכהן ונתן אל המים ... (ה-יז)
Part of the Sotah process, determining the status of a woman accused of infidelity, entails writing a document that contains the Name of the Almighty, which is then completely erased in the bitter waters of the Sotah ritual. We are met with a true contradiction. On the one hand, the Torah warns against destroying even one letter of the holy Name. Yet, the Sotah process mandates the destruction of that very Name! How are we to understand this inconsistency? One of the clearest resolutions is found in Talmud Yerushalmi, Sotah 1:4, where Rabbi Meir’s students witnessed a woman spitting in the face of their beloved teacher, and felt that he had been mistreated. Rabbi Meir, however, had instructed the woman to do so. “If the Holy Name that was written in total kedusha must be obliterated in [bitter] waters in order to bring about peace between a husband and his wife, should I not act in the same manner?” Rabbi Meir’s response to his students enables us to view the Sotah ritual, and its concomitant obliteration of Hashem’s Name, in an entirely new light. Though at first glance it may appear to be a trial by ordeal, nothing could be further from the truth. In the vast majority of cases, the authentic purpose of the Sotah process was to reunite a couple in marital harmony. Given the holy purpose of reconciliation, nothing should stand in the way. Even the destruction of the Divine Name itself is a small price to pay to achieve peace.
R’ Nissim Karelitz zt”l, one of our generation’s great Litvishe poskim, and a nephew of the Chazon Ish zt”l, founded the Beis Din Tzedek of Bnei Brak, which later grew to become a beis din staffed with tens of dayanim and rabbanim and dealt with complex cases from all over the world, including financial disputes, marriage conflicts, and conversions. On one occasion, R’ Nissim oversaw a complex case in which he ruled in favor of one litigant over the other. The man who lost the case was so incensed at the psak din, that he refused to accept it. Instead, he jumped to his feet and began shouting and cursing at R’ Nissim and the members of his beis din. The courtroom was shocked into an uneasy silence as the man continued to harangue the dayanim sitting at the head of the table. But he reserved his most choicest words of slander and disrepute for the Rosh Beis Din, R’ Nissim Karelitz, himself. The words that emanated from this despicable man’s mouth were beyond disgrace. Curses and innuendos, mixed with shouts and menacing words, made everyone in the room squirm. No matter how many people attempted to quiet him, he would not be silenced. In fact, it got to the point that some of the rabbanim went over to R’ Nissim and insisted that this man must be placed in cherem for the despicable words he was saying.
“Kavod HaTorah!” they insisted. “Is this proper, to allow a man to harangue you in front of everyone and you just sit here and allow him to continue to spew forth his disgraceful words of chutzpah like the boor and empty person that he is?”
R’ Nissim listened to them but he immediately told them to stand down. As the man continued to curse and shout at him, he explained to the other dayanim, “Look at it from this man’s perspective. He just lost a difficult and complicated court case, one that could end up costing him a great deal of money. He is in pain, and not a small amount of pain. He is hurting badly and when one is hurting, he needs to unload and release a good measure of his pain. This is just human nature.”
Looking at the man with sympathy, R’ Nissim continued. “The minute he leaves this courtroom, he will likely go home and the first person that he encounters will bear the brunt of his lengthy diatribe, where he bemoans his fate at the hands of this court. Now, who do you think will be the hapless recipient of his ferocious temper? Who do you think will have to suffer as he unloads and lets out all of his steam of curses and nastiness? It will be none other than his wife. She will be the ‘korban’ that is forced to bear the brunt of his rage. Is it her fault? Does she deserve this? Of course not. So what is the big deal if I let him ‘spill it all out’ here inside the court and direct his rage at me, rather than at her? I hope that by the time he is finished his tirade, he will be spent and have nothing left to yell at her. After all, Chazal tell us that if Hashem allows His Name to be erased for Shalom Bayis purposes - how much more so for a human being to allow himself to be embarrassed for the sake of peace...