Parshas Bereishis (Machar Chodesh) 5787
ויאמר קין אל הבל אחיו ויהי בהיותם בשדה ויקם קין אל הבל אחיו ויהרגהו ... (ד-ח)
There is an amazing story about how a single family embraced Yiddishkeit because of a comment made years earlier.
The tale begins when one Yerushalmi Maggid, R’ Reuven Karlenstein zt”l, posed a deeply penetrating question to another famous Maggid of Jerusalem, R’ Shalom Shwadron zt”l: “R’ Shalom, tell me: how does one put a neshama into a person?”
R’ Shalom chuckled before offering a striking mashal to explain. “At the end of Parshas Bereishis, the Torah tells us how Kayin sought to kill his brother Hevel. Understandably, Kayin did not know how to kill, as no human had ever been killed. In his confusion, Kayin began hitting Hevel, beating him mercilessly and severing his limbs. Yet despite excruciating agony, Hevel remained alive. Seeing Hevel’s suffering, Hakadosh Boruch Hu summoned a bird, which attacked another bird and pecked relentlessly at its companion’s neck until it died. Watching this, Kayin struck Hevel across the neck, and Hevel breathed his last. “Since that day,” R’ Shalom explained, “humanity has known precisely how to take a neshama, a soul out. But putting a soul back in? That remains a mystery. A person can never anticipate the effect their words might have on another human spirit. Sometimes, a single offhand remark or lighthearted joke can unleash incredible transformation.”
To illustrate, R’ Shalom shared a personal experience with R’ Reuven. He told him how many years earlier, he had traveled to his daughter in Kiryat Gat for Shabbos. Mid-meal on Friday night, a knock sounded at the door. Standing outside was a local Rav asking if R’ Shalom could possibly grace the community with a shiur after the seudah. What an honor it would be, he told the Maggid. Well, he wasn’t exactly prepared and so R’ Shalom hesitated. But he felt could not refuse.
Immediately, after the seudah and with a prayer on his lips, R’ Shalom headed to the Beis Medrash. The shul was packed as word had spread fast. Stepping up to speak, R’ Shalom kept it simple. With so much experience under his belt, he had no trouble weaving together thoughts on the weekly parsha, a few parables, and engaging stories. In the middle of his lecture, R’ Shalom decided to bring the crowd into it. “Tell me, Rabbosai, why is it that in recent years people have begun holding elaborate ‘Bas Mitzvah’ celebrations for young girls, something our ancestors never practiced? Traditionally, only thirteen-year-old boys celebrated reaching the age of mitzvos. Why has this custom spread to girls nowadays?”
The audience remained silent. Smiles rippled through the room as R’ Shalom delivered his punchline: “Once upon a time, when a Jewish boy reached thirteen, he began to wear tefillin and dedicate himself to Torah study. This naturally did not apply to a young girl, which is why only boys had a ceremony. But today, girls look around and see that even boys reaching thirteen aren’t makpid (careful) to put on tefillin or study Torah - yet everyone throws them a grand party! So the girls say, ‘If the boys get a celebration without doing anything, why shouldn’t we? Why are we any different?’” The congregation laughed, and the evening ended. To R’ Shalom, it was merely an amusing anecdote to keep the audience engaged.
Years later, a gentleman approached R’ Shalom in Jerusalem. “The Rav likely does not remember me,” the man said, “but I was in the synagogue that Friday night in Kiryat Gat when you shared that joke about Bas Mitzvah parties. Your words struck me like a lightning bolt. I asked myself: Is it really true that my sons have turned thirteen and reached the age of responsibility, yet they do nothing differently than my daughters? Are they truly living without tefillin?”
The thought haunted him all weekend. “First thing Sunday morning, I asked my sons to begin putting on tefillin every day. After all, they had a Bar Mitzvah and received a pair of tefillin. Soon, that small step led us to enroll them in religious schools. That spark spread through our home, inspiring all of us to return to teshuvah. Today, our entire family is fully observant.”
Finishing his account, R’ Shalom turned back to R’ Reuven and concluded, “You see, we know how to take a neshama out, but putting a neshama back in is something far greater than our plans. Who could have believed that a casual joke, spoken spontaneously during an unplanned drasha, would inspire an entire family to rebuild their spiritual lives forever?”